Gifting When You’re a Minimalist
Minimalism first caught my interest when I was in my early twenties—I had graduated college, moved from Chicago to Austin with my then-boyfriend (who dumped me a month after moving in with him), and I was making about $23K a year as a preschool teacher.
I was drawn to the intentional nature of the movement; how much sense it made to only surround yourself with things you use and things you love. And this was a couple of years before the mass obsession of Marie Kondo’s Life‑Changing Magic of Tidying Up, just sayin’!
Maybe it was the break-up propelling me to purge, or the slim paychecks that covered only student loans, rent, groceries, and nothing superfluous… but I suddenly found myself regularly unloading heaps of personal belongings. What’s more, I found myself becoming happier.
“When minimalism turns your life around in a positive way, you want to share that success with your friends and family, not add to consumerist traditions that leave a great percentage of the population drowning in debt. ”
Over time, as I’ve grown older and settled into a sweet little spot I rent with my now-husband, I’ve begun collecting again, making our home a bit homier. When we do bring things into our life, they’re things we adore. Everything has its use and its place. Alex and I make monthly stops at Goodwill and charity donation drop boxes, and we even more frequently leave things on our front lawn for our neighbors to pick up. When something no longer serves its purpose in our lives, we let it go. Minimalism has helped us take care of what matters most and has quelled our need to keep up with the Jones’s.
One thing, though, that remains a challenge for us is gift-giving. I know, I know! It feels silly even admitting it. I mean, we’re gifters. It’s my chosen love language and we run a gifting company, for goodness sake. But because I identify as a minimalist, I have a hard time not adhering to the same values when choosing gifts for my loved ones. When minimalism turns your life around in a positive way, you want to share that success with your friends and family, not add to consumerist traditions that leave a great percentage of the population drowning in debt.
Still, gifting is fun! It often brings joy to both the gift recipient and the gift giver. It can make us feel closer to each other, especially when physically distanced. It shows that we care, that we’re thinking beyond ourselves, that we love. Gift-giving is a good time.
Over the years, Alex and I have followed a set of guidelines to help us gift more intentionally. There are certainly times when we’ve gone rogue, buying things just for the sake of it to ensure we don’t show up “empty-handed.” Minimalism is a process, and there’s a big learning curve. If you’re like us, and want to feel better about what you’re gifting others, use this list as a starting point. We hope it serves as a helpful reminder of what matters most* for your next gift-giving occasion, whether it’s a friend’s birthday, Mother’s Day, or Christmas.
*Hint: it’s the person you’re gifting to and your connection with them, not any one thing.
1. Keep a list of gift ideas handy
I’ve mentioned it before, but Alex and I are total gift nerds. We literally have a spreadsheet dedicated to gift ideas for friends and family members. We revisit it frequently: adding and editing it as seasons change and our loved ones’ wants and needs develop. The nephew mentioned a liking for science kits? It goes on the list. Mom mentioned a new brand of specialty cheese she loves? On the list! We know our siblings are anticipating a move and saving up for a new TV? Yup—put it on the list.
I promise you if you don’t write it down you’ll forget it. That person’s birthday will come and you won’t know what to get, you’ll procrastinate, run out of time, and just get something willy-nilly! Your future self will love you if you just take the 2 seconds to jot it down. The gift list is the ultimate stress-reliever. When a birthday pops up on the calendar or the holidays are looming, we whip that baby out! We discuss whether there’s anything better or more sustainable we could offer them instead, and if there isn’t, we go ahead and get them that item we know they’ll love.
2. Ask what the recipient wants
If for some reason we don’t have an item ready and waiting for us in its nice little spreadsheet cell, we pick up the phone and ask what our recipient wants. We realize this completely ruins any semblance of surprise, but when it comes down to it, we’d rather gift something our loved one is going to be psyched about than surprise them with something they might feel burdened by. Sometimes we learn about a cool new product we want for ourselves. Other times we’re joyfully surprised by the answer! Last Christmas, my 93-year-old grandmother told us all she wanted was a bottle of Champagne so she could celebrate the New Year at home. How sweet and fun is that?
3. Set a budget
Alright, y’all. This one is important. Gift-giving—especially during the holidays—can get EX-PEN-SIVE. I once read somewhere that about 23% of people are still paying off their debt from a past holiday season when the new season begins. Not okay! I’m willing to bet ALL my future holiday gifts that your loved ones would not want you going into debt over their Christmas gift. Be realistic about how much $$$ you have to spend on each person you’re gifting to this year. Be sure to include birthdays, weddings, baby showers, anniversaries, and seasonal holidays. Thankfully we’re releasing this post in February, so you still have about 10 months before Christmas rounds the corner…
You’re setting aside funds in your savings account now, right? RIGHT?! Go on, we’ll wait.
4. Pool resources
A great way to stretch everyone’s dollars is to pool resources. This works especially well if you know what the recipient wants, and if its a higher-priced item. For example, if your best friend made a comment about wanting to travel more this year, you could round up your friends to go in on birthday plane tickets to a new city she’s never been to. Split 6 or 7 ways, the cost will stay fairly low, and the impact will be huge and greatly appreciated.
5. Consumables, consumables, consumables!
When you’re still not sure what your giftees might want, or for the really-difficult-to-buy-for-folx, your go-to should be consumables. Consumables are THE BEST. You know why? Everyone loves eating, drinking, and experiencing new things. Most people love treating themselves to specialty self-care bath or home goods. Consumables add to our lives in an experiential way, and once they’re consumed, they’re no longer cluttering our spaces! I mean, can we get an applause? If you know your cousin loves cupcakes, do a quick search for a great local bakery in his town and send that sweet treat right over. If your father-in-law loves camping, do some research and send him some fun dehydrated meals.
Here are bunch of Alex and my favorites from our shop:
And here are some of our favorites from other small companies:
Pound cake or other baked goods and bread from Bien Cuit
Pretty taper candles for the dinner table from March
Beautifully roasted coffee beans by Heart Roasters
Decadent Stuffed Cookies by Mad Batter
The tastiest, butteriest cheese from Cowgirl Creamery
Gin that helps protect Gray Whales
6. If not consumable, make sure it’s usable!
If your friend really enjoys things, like home decor and office supplies, be sure to gift something useful. When thoughtfully chosen, this gift may end up adding value to the recipient’s life for years to come. Here are some of our useful, but not-so-consumable items:
7. Or, gift an experience (spend more time, less money)
Joshua Fields Millburn of The Minimalists writes, “I now give gifts of experiences, charitable donations, or, if I give material goods, I give consumables, such as a bottle of wine or a bag of coffee from a local roaster. It must be something someone can use, or, if it’s an experience, it’s a memory that can be shared, from concert tickets to an evening of watching the sunset together. It sounds cliche until you actually do it, and then you realize it’s great.”
Giving the gift of time to someone is one of the most thoughtful things you can bestow. After all, money is replenishable. Time is not.
Some ways you could gift time and experiences include:
Pack a picnic and hike to a beautiful overlook to share the meal
Grab your sweats and a racket/ball/golf club and meet for a lively one-on-one (or family vs family) game
Soak up some rays and people watch together
Enjoy a live concert
Drive somewhere new without a set plan. Discover something together
Plant a garden with each other
Go for a walk. Nature and chatting go hand in hand
(For parents and grandparents) Spend time asking about their lives before you were born
(For partners) Take a bath together and exchange massages
Do something out-of-the-ordinary: sign up for scuba diving or parasailing
(For those you don’t live nearby) Plan a trip to see one another, or watch a movie together while on Zoom so you can share a laugh together
Volunteer your time together at a local charity or organization
8. Support small & shop local
When shopping for anyone (including yourself), whenever possible, try shopping small to keep your local economy thriving. Tell your gift recipient where you purchased their gift from: that it’s helping a small business put food on their family’s table. Amazon is great (and necessary at times), but your gift goes even further when the maker behind the product benefits in a valuable way.
Search Google for the best local shops in your area and ask friends and neighbors for recommendations.
9. Give in their name
If your gift recipient asks for nothing, doesn’t need anything, or is a fellow minimalist and would rather not have anything, consider donating to a cause or charity in their name. Companies like Charity Gift Card and Tis Best make it easy to allow your recipient to choose a cause for themselves, making your gift that much more meaningful.
Search your area for local nonprofits to donate to. For ideas, here are some general causes you may be interested in learning more about: homelessness, immigration, equity & equality, pandemic relief, children & youth, women, civil rights, water, LGBTQ, suicide prevention, cancer, disease, mental health, and voters rights.
No matter how you slice it, giving is a wonderful feeling. We hope you empower yourself and your loved ones through more intentional gifting practices. Let us know in the comments below if you have different gifting traditions, or what the best gift you’ve ever received or given was!
